SIFL First Division 2013-2014
October 19th 2013 game 1
Shanghai Sauerkrauts 0-4 Shanghai 3 United
For this first game of the season, 3 United faces the unpredictable Shanghai Sauerkrauts and will try to erase the shameful 7-3 defeat conceded last year. The club having great ambitions this season, all players almost shown up fresh and on time for a nice one-hour bus ride through the industrial suburb of Shanghai, after a very good and satisfying pre-season.
While the Sauerkrauts didn’t bring their very good midfielder and strong striker, 3 united shown up with a balanced team made of old players and a bunch of former Re United players as well as some new-comers that would bring their promises, after having lost their key players Tom Snaith, Luismi Ramos and Jack bunkum.
After a disappointing 8th place on the table last season due to a terrible start, 3 united would give everything to avoid reproducing such a frustrating situation and offer to their beloved teammate Joao Ribeiro a win to celebrate his birthday, while the Sauerkrauts would certainly be fighting until the last minute as usual.
The game takes place in Tianma Iraq Style Ruins on a well “choose-the-line-you-like” decorated pitch, surrounded by a nice biodiversity allowing players to admire snakes while urinating outside since the toilets disappeared during summer. Whatsoever, the weather was perfect for a noon kick-off and 3 United players did their special war anthem after Coach Mike’s speech.
The Chinese referee (certainly not as severe as the one in Pro Evolution Soccer) vigorously whistled and the game started with both teams ready to fight.
The game started with a clear domination of 3 United, the team looking solid on every line of the block and pressing very high. A mistake of Sauerkrauts defender after 10 minutes almost allowing Henrik Storm to score the first goal, and predicting a hard time for the not so confident Sauerkrauts. And the punishment came at the 32nd minute when Nick Law crossed perfectly for Henrik Storm who easily scored a header while the goalkeeper was sleeping at the first post.
The Sauerkrauts then lost motivation, allowing Etienne Bernhardt to score an ugly slow motion goal from the edge of the box (40th minute), thanks to the paycheck he promised to the Sauerkrauts goalkeeper before the game, after a very good job from the insatiable Nick law.
3 United players reach the half-time with a confortable lead and joined the bench for a break, a motivating tactical discussion and for drinking a strange yellow magic potion prepared by their coach and served with bananas, promising each other a win.
The second half started and Sauerkrauts, as expected, tried to balance the game and come back while 3 United defense was deliberately fixed a little lower than for the first half. But Nick Law, again, didn’t agree with them and dramatically killed all Sauerkrauts hopes, enjoying a misunderstanding of the defense after a clever move from Nathan Jones on an assist of David Lazarowicz, dribbling the centerback and confidently placing the ball far from the goalkeeper’s gloves (60th minute).
Sauerkrauts definitely lost their temper then, planning the assassination of the ref after the game, but kept fighting for saving their honor, but 3 United solid defense (hehe) managed to get their sheet clean until the end with the help of a very explosive Joren Bredman in the goal. The already secured win finally became even more seductive when 3 United scored a late fourth goal from a flipper set piece by Mathias Schad (78th minute), after a header from David Lazarowicz heat the post and became an assist.
Final score: Sauerkrauts – 3 United 0-4
Team performance: 8,5/10
A very good team performance of all lines, made of a compact block and an intelligent communication between players.
Individual performances:
Guys please don’t overreact about the following part, that is purely for fun,so please let me apologize in advance if you feel that any of my below comment is unfair or/and shocking.
JOREN “WAN DER SAR” BREDMAN 8,5/10
A great game from an always improving goal keeper, and no Sauerkrauts forward was able to fuck the Dutch that day. Joren saved his team several times during the game, always keeping a good communication with his defense. The clean sheet is definitely thanks to his explovise down-to-feet saves. No mistake to be pointed.
MIKE “BOCANEGRA” MILLER 8/10
Soft, sober, safe, a very good participation on his left side, especially when the point was to keep the lead going on. Besidely, a few nice interceptions and a good control of the ball.
PIERRE “AMOROS” MARCONNET 8/10
This summer, Pierre imposed himself as a natural choice for the left side of the defense. Fast, confident, he secured his area easily and also helped in a few defensive phases. Beside that, some funny throw-ins gave us an idea of the wednesday training efficiency.
DEAN “CARRAGHER” ROSIER 7/10
Good averall game. Maybe a light lack of confidence led him to miss a few controls. But definitely a trustful first game with the 3 United team.
FABIAN “BECKENBAUER” KRAEMER 8,5/10
Fabian “the kaiser”, fast, powerful and quiet. A perfect lead of the defense combined with an intelligent communication offered a clean sheet to the team. No mistake, beside smoking three cigarettes during the half-time.
JD “GIRESSE” PERNIN 8/10
New-comer, JD played his first official game for 3 United today, and shown a lot of skillfull moves and simple passing, impressive technique and clever positionning. Welcome JD.
DANIEL “SHINDIKA” ENOCK 7,5/10
Who said that he saw a pink panthera on the pitch? Daniel played a clever game in midfield today, active offensively as well as defensively. Can’t wait next week to see the new hair style.
DAVID “PODOLSKI” LAZAROWICZ 8,5/10
Powerful, never tired, the former Re United David brought to the game all his qualities, contributing to the score board by two assist and already imposing himself as a key player this season.
JULIEN “KASTENDEUTCH” WALEMME 7,5/10
Back from a knee injury just before the game, Julien proved to be a precious help to the team by his ability to shoot any moment from anywhere on any occasion or position. His missed acrobatic volley could have been THE goal of the decade. Good activity on the defensive area, securing some headers. Should have scored on two chances.
ETIENNE “GINOLA” BERNHARDT 7,5/10
Etienne scored an important ugly goal just before the half time that definitely broke Sauerkrauts mental down. Beside that, he was unable to secure a good cross with his left foot, that led him to waste some interesting situation.
HENRIK “SVENSSON” STORM 9/10
Also a former Re U player that will help us forget Tom Snaith. Enrik played clean, sober, and always threatened the Sauerkrauts defense by his ball conduction and vista. Scored the first goal and never slown down his activity. Definitely man of the match.
DEREK “CHICHARITO” YESIONOWSKI 7,5/10
Finally back from a long-term injury, Derek isn’t yet at 100% yet, but in despite of this, he still have his fantastic defensive and ball protection quality that really stabilized the game on his side. His replacement up to the midfield promise to be a very good idea. Good game.
MATHIAS “KHEDIRA” SCHAD 7/10
For his first game with 3 United, Mathias proved to be in the rhythm by scoring an Inzaghi style goal. Beside that, he made himself available on his right side and helped the team controling the game. Good debut.
NATHAN “DEMPSEY” JONES 7/10
Not the best game of Nathan today, being sanctionned by a yellow card for an avoidable foul. Beside that, a very clever move that led to the third goal.
NICK “ROONEY” LAW 9/10
The other man of the match. Even with a little playing time, Nick was implicated in all the good moves today, delivering two very nice assist and scoring a beautiful goal. Nothing to add, hope he could play like that all along the season.
Others:
Happy birthday to Joao Ribeiro and thanks to Alan McIvor for coming with us to the game.
Next week 3 United will play Shining that lost its first game 3-2 against LongTang.
3 United is FIRST OF THE TABLE, hoping it’s not just a firework.
Hey, I’ll be back soon! Great write-up Romain!